There was a great thread over on reddit “How do you explain Keto Chow?” – good stuff, but there were 2 responses that are awesome. I’m going to edit them so my kids can read them without their eyes melting and fix some spelling and grammar issues.

It usually goes like this:

ppl: Hey, WOW, you’re looking great! Are you on a diet?

Me: Yes!, Have you heard of Soylent?

ppl: Hardy har har ‘soylent green’, you eat people

Me: This is a food replacement drink that gives me exactly the calories/vitamins/nutrients/minerals that my human body needs.

ppl: … , so you’re not eating?

Me: I have engineered my food to give me exactly what I need with none of the bad stuff.

ppl: … , but like you’re not eating, I like food, is this what you eat for Thanksgiving?

Me: No, Of course not, eating Keto Chow is what allows me to have a few cheat days while still keeping me slim and healthy

ppl: What the crap is Keto Chow?

Me: explains ketogenic diet

ppl: …

ppl: I like food, you’re weird, eating that much fat is bad for you, why can’t you just eat salad?

Me: Keto Chow means theres no more cooking, cleaning, running to the grocery store, paying a small fortune every 5 days for fresh fruit and veg, no more logging and guessing what to enter into MyFitnessPal

ppl: …, You’re so lazy, and weird, who doesn’t like food?! changes subject

and one of the replies:

I like to get Metaphysical on them.

ppl: Why don’t you just eat food?

Me: What is food?

ppl: You know, stuff you eat! Stuff you CHEW on you know!

Me: So if I put a lego in my mouth, crush it with my teeth and swallow it, does that make it food?

ppl: Noooo….

Me: So what makes it food?

… Continue as necessary until it is established that food doesn’t have to be chewed, it is something consumed to provide energy and nutrition for life. Ergo KetoChow is food.

This can actually be really entertaining and MIGHT make them reconsider what they think about food. It also might not (probably not) but it can make them look pretty foolish for a little while.

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